How Is The United Way Like Paulson's Bailout Plan?

Glad you asked.

1.  Give us billions of dollars.  Only we will decide how to spend it.  We can't tell you in advance how we'll spend it.  No second-guessing our decisions after we spend it.

2.  Do it now.  Don't wait. This is an emergency.  Our community is in crisis.

PS:  Don't ask us about the salaries of our top executives or about the generous golden parachute packages we've bought for them, courtesy of your previous gifts.